how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
