i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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