there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
