Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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