and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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