We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
