If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
