I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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