sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
