No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
they're like a gay fantastic four
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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