Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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