Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
