I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
