Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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