Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i need some magic done to my vagina
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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