Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
