I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Your dad touched me again.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There's always time for handjobs
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
