I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
