I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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