remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
