why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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