Someone shit on the floor
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
