Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
