but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
