I wanna passion pit in your ass
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
