hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
