idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My liver just broke up with me...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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