god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
