the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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