Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
