You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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