Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
