put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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