he was CRYING into my vagina
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize