You made me cry and you don't even care
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
