My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
