You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Even my vagina gasped.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
