i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize