Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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