ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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