ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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