he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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