but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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