The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
