I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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