It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Text me some of your sweat
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
