Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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