i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
