Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I understand Curling. That high.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize