she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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