His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
