I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Two words: blizzard sex
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
