She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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