I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
