You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
