Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
