I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
