pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake