we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?