I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.