Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
