walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
