she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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