Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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