I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
