What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
