New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
